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| Summer is in the air by Beverly LeFevre |
I've been fully immersed in motherhood for the past month or so--and by fully I mean without other duties such as school and writing. At times this break feels like luxury I don't deserve as I have tendencies to overwork and overbook myself but these days I make sure to remind myself that it's okay to slow down and take a long breather...that it's okay to occasionally sit in front of the TV mindlessly and that there's nothing wrong with reading books for pure entertainment (Christian Grey anyone? ;) )
I still wonder why I have this constant need to keep myself busy and to reach another goal after one has already been met. I'm the archetype of an overachiever who spends so much time looking ahead that she rarely has time to enjoy the present and for this, I guess this "break" is exactly what I need at this moment in life.
At the end of the day I'm much happier, less stressed and much more relaxed around the kids. I can bake cookies, make dinner and fold laundry with more ease & grace without feeling burdened by another chore or obligation that awaits me. The world still seems to be zooming past me and I'm again caught in the trap of feeling as if I'm being left behind....but today, I tell myself that this must be my mind playing its old tricks again and that I'm okay as long as I'm happy, satisfied and fulfilled inside.
The girls are on summer break and things have been hectic. It's only been one month since I took a break from school and already I've spent 4 days at a church retreat, a full day at the ER and managed to squeeze in dance & violin lessons as well as mini-getaways with the little ones. It's already mid-summer and 2012 is already coming to fall. How fast time flies by..especially as I get older. Must remember to start writing more regularly and spend more time with myself.
Today I'm grateful for my family- for my husband who provides me with the choice to stay home as I wish and for my kids who keep me on my toes all day with their endless energy and charm. Most importantly I'm thankful for me--for all my strengths and weaknesses because without them my life won't be so damn interesting.
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