Friday, December 14, 2012

Newtown Tragedy. Change is needed NOW

I'm deeply affected by today's tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. My daughters are 7 & 5, this isn't someone else's story. Children teach us beauty of life and adults repay them with violence and deadly silence. Children bring us joy and we kill their souls through childhood trauma.

This must stop. Now.

Today I vow to pay closer attention to others, especially my children and their emotional & mental well-being. I promise to dedicate my life to raising healthy individuals who love themselves and value other people. I promise never to let my child become lost in loneliness & anger.

Change begins with me, with my children, in my home. I hope you do the same, for me and for all our children, especially those children who lost everything today.

Something must be done. Change is needed NOW.

Heartbroken & in grief this gloomy afternoon.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

It's winter and I'm not even sad

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping on your nose...

No Jack Frost here in So Cal, but it's been raining since last night and I'm loving this weather. I can't imagine living anywhere but here, and I'd be awfully depressed if I was settled in rainy Seattle. Here, the rain can be much anticipated and embraced even for someone who's prone to self-induced SAD like me.

I want to wear my rain boots with a big pull-over hoodie and let the cold air whip my hair around. Then I'll return inside, make myself a warm cup of tea, cuddle next to a fireplace and hibernate like a bear with no distractions or worry.

No demands, no chores, no routine, no boredom--
I'll travel to a place where only dreams reside.

Before I close myself let me ask you,
Will you be there?
If not, can you come find me,
because it's winter and I'm not even sad.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The higher you'll fly

I can't believe it's December already. I've been loving this weather lately, where I can finally enjoy a cup of coffee wearing my warm fuzzy robe while looking out into the cool gloomy sky through the frosted window.

Winter mornings of Southern California feel more like late fall, yet it sure does feel like the holidays. Our tree has been up since Thanksgiving and my daughters have been busy making their Christmas list for Santa. New Christmas stockings have been ordered and I'm about 1/4th done with Christmas shopping.  It's these little things that fill my heart with joy...these little things that make me grateful for family & friends I'm surrounded by.

These days I find myself drawing closer with loved ones and farther from ones who are selfish and negative. Knowing to draw boundaries have gotten a lot easier then before, but sometimes I found myself still torn -not about whether or not it's necessary- but how and when to do so.

Sometimes I feel bad and hypocritical for not having the tolerance I once had for negative people. Yet I now know that I can't change other people and expect others to change for me. I need to embrace all my loved ones completely and wholeheartedly--and if I find that I can't, I must take a step back and reassess that relationship which usually turns out to be superficial and shallow for reasons beyond my control.

December is a time be thankful for loved ones- to express gratitude, appreciation and love. It is also a good time to reassess our surroundings, clean up shaky paths and start fresh for the new year.

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher. 

I'm ending 2012 on a good note, without any footprint left behind.