Happy 7th Birthday Elise!

Elise at Disneyland. 3. 29. 2012

We celebrated my daughter Elise's birthday by spending a day at Disneyland.  I can't believe she's already seven years old.  It is through her I got married at the premature age of 24 and because of her I'm doing what I do today.  She came as an unexpected surprise to my life and while there were many moments of uncertainty and anxiety as a young wife and mother, I can now confidently say that I am who I am today because of her.

She taught me countless invaluable lessons in life- the most important lesson being learning to let go of control and let God steer my life.  She taught me that no matter how articulate my plans are, none compares to that of God and that with every difficulty comes greater blessings.  This is not to say I'm at the end of my journey because difficulties are not over and greater blessings are on its way.  At times I still experience moments of despair and regret. Yet today, like every day of my life, I'm grateful that I am her mother and that she is my daughter.

My daughter still has many difficulties and needs daily medication and therapies to function like the average child.  I used to dedicate my prayers for her to "get better" and for her conditions "to improve."  Recently I began to realize how foolish I was, because God tells me that she is perfect just the way she is.

She has trouble with communication but knows how to connect better than some adults.  She needs medication but enjoys food like no other.  She loves to sing, dance, play, laugh and already knows how to enjoy the moment and be present in everything she does while I still struggle with this at age 31.  She has a stubborn streak like mommy but is already gifted with the art of letting go.  She does not harbor negativity and does not complain, judge or condemn like many of us.  She radiates her smile and laughter to everyone around her and teaches me everyday what it means to love without expectations.  She teaches me not to take anything for granted, that every little thing like reading, talking and exercising are only possible through God's grace.

She is love, love itself and serves as a daily reminder of the person I need to become.

Happy Birthday Elise!

I love you from the depth of my heart and without you, I could've never reached this deep. I owe the depth of my heart to you- my love, my life, my everything.