Hyphenated Identity

As my 4-year old daughter begins to construct her self-identity, I often run into questions that makes me falter, nervous about what effects my carefree response has on her growing mind. She now recognizes the American flag every time she comes across one, and today she asked if we can make one together. Automatically I replied 'of course honey!' enthusiastically and willingly as I always try to sound. So the conversation began.

Me: Of course honey, and after we make the American flag, why don't we make a Korean flag too?

T: Why Korean mom?

Me: Well, because we're part Korean, and it's good to learn about the Korean culture too.

(I replaced the word 'ethnically' with 'part' knowing this one word can trigger tens of others questions that can never fully be resolved between us yet)

T: Ummm, no thank you mom. I don't like Korean, I am American. I like American better.

She just turned four and words like American and Korean hold no more significance than names of her favorite TV characters but I foresee many hours of dialogue in the future as we grow together as mother & daughter.

And I can't help but to long for her childhood innocence and simplicity, two facets of abundance I have to now make conscious efforts to achieve and maintain.