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Monday, January 10, 2011

The Paradox of Duties

Cupcakes & sprinkles



It's Monday morning and I just sent the two children off to school, husband off to work. I'm definitely not a morning person so awaking early in the morning to fulfill my motherly duties has been one of the most difficult part of the day. As one can imagine, starting off the day by doing the one thing that I'm not good at has been a true test of my endurance and sanity.

I'm currently in the process of re-programming my subconscious mind to be a more positive, happy & hopeful person (more on this later if anyone is interested). I don't know if my perfectionist & anal tendencies are wired into my DNA or are learned behaviors I was indirectly taught from a young age but at age 30, I'm finally undoing these unhealthy thought patterns and learning to let go.

I have to stop seeking perfection and accept imperfections that I'm surrounded by daily called children, husband and life. I need to stop these urges to clean up every mess I see around the house and learn to enjoy life first. Usually by this time I'd be doing dishes, picking up toys in the living room and straightening out the kids play room for the tenth time in two days.

Today, I'm enjoying my cup of hazelnut coffee and writing instead, making conscious efforts to stop- and slowly let the day unwind.

Today, I'm grateful for my daughter turning 4 and that I have lots of responsibilities to fulfill as a mother. Normally I'd be stressed out, obsessively going over the to-do list over and over in my head. Today, I'm gonna take it easy and just begin slowly with ease and grace. I'm blessed to have my family. I'm thankful to be home.

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