Love burns

I'll never leave you by Jamie Beck

Many years ago, an overprotective and over-jealous boyfriend burned my old pictures and old letters in the small patio of my college apartment. I was appalled by his actions but so appalled that I was at a loss of words.  I thought I loved him at the time, and judged that the best thing to do was to let him be as something was obviously bothering him, and I wanted to be the one to provide some relief for him even at the sake of my memories.

Tonight I look back and realize I was simply caught in middle of someone else's dark passions and his actions had nothing to do with me or his love for me, but with his own insecurities and desires.

I've never been angry enough to burn any part of my past; perhaps this was the problem.  I wish I never have to do this but simultaneously hope I had enough courage to do this at a few pivotal moments in my life.

Love is passionate. For some love boils and glowers like fire. My love was quiet, gentle and reserved and somehow, somewhere along the way, my coy love began to ignite once it caught someone else's spark fueled by greed and dark passions.

Tonight it burns uncontrollably and there is no one around to put it out but myself.  I need to and I will-- but I still remember my love, the one that isn't jealous, possessive or controlling, the kind that just is.

I still leave it up to Him, God that is, and pray that I can live out my kind of love one day. I want to rediscover it and learn to be selfless again.

All in His time, I remind myself-- for the thousandth time.