Frozen

Source: Flickr crashtrope

Sometimes I wonder, just how it all started, how it came to be what it is, and why we couldn't walk away sooner. Was it your calming voice that is neither deep nor high, your smile that is neither bright nor shy-- or was it your quiet demeanor that is neither caring nor careless.

Perhaps it was this ambivalence that made me falter and lose my pride. Perhaps it was the indifference you always treated me with, the indifference that no one in the world showed, but you.

I was tired. Tired of the caring, tired of the protecting, the maintaining, the questioning, and the answering. Sometimes all I wanted was silence and apathy. I'd tell myself I want to connect when in reality, I feel most comfortable floating aimlessly like a ghost. Sometimes I want to step away from everyone and everything and just be, in silence.

My life is anything but indifferent, anything but silent, and this is perhaps why I couldn't walk away sooner. Now that I'm walking away from your world of cold and damp non-emotions, I feel vibrant and warm. My heart begins to flutter and I'm beginning to remember what it feels like to live an ordinary life.

Good-bye my silent love, good-bye. Thank you for the years of indifference, for giving my frozen heart a companion.

Now I leave my cold heart at your doorstep, for there is no room for her in my warm home.

Eternal night has passed; sun arises at the break of dawn.

Good-bye.

Jean Rhys: After Leaving Mr. Mackenzie

Source Flickr neekaisweird

from After Leaving Mr. Mackenzie (1931)

And suddenly she was immensely calm and indifferent to anything that had ever happened or could possibly happen to her. It was like that. Just when in another moment your brain would burst, it was always like that. She sat placidly with her knees rather wide apart, and her eyes fixed calm.

She felt nothing, except that she was tired and that she wished to be left alone to rest there, quietly, in the darkened room. It seemed to her that she had been there forever and that she always would be there, and that getting up, moving, would be impossible. But they must leave her alone, leave her alone. Then even that thought left her. She floated…floated….And shut her eyes.

Black & White Decor

I have an exciting new project underway- collecting inspirations for my dream home!

We've been searching for a new home for months now and so far it's been a rather tiring and frustrating experience. When we find a home we absolutely love, it is priced above our budget or a cash buyer takes it. I was sure I found my dream house last week -- until the bank counter offered and it went to someone else.

The real estate market in Southern California remains difficult and bubbly for buyers but I'm not giving up until I find the perfect home.

I'm a firm believer that just like marriage, there is that perfect home that is meant for me and my family. With enough patience, time and prayers, things will work out!

Meanwhile, here are some black and white decor ideas I'm inspired by. Because I tend to get tired of bright colors, I'm leaning towards simple neutral (eggshell) walls with black, white and brown furniture with accent colors that I can switch out depending on the mood & season.

I like the utilization of masculine /feminine, dichotomous look of black & white pulled together by gold accents. Brown, beige or taupe colors seem to work just as well.

Image via Pinterest

Via 79ideas

Love the symmetry and use of light, neutral colors with black lines. Love the layering of textures and patterns- all in the same neutral tone.

Via Carina Orlander

I adore this workspace, although I'd need more room. I doubt I can maintain something like this with two kids who love to crawl all over me when I'm at my desk but a girl can still dream, right?

Dreams & Fables: Korean Artist JeeYoung Lee

Childhood // Source Opion Gallery

Treasure Hunt 

Resurrection

The Little Matchgirl

Nightmare

Maiden Voyage

Treasure Hunt

Nightmare

Once in awhile I come across an artist whose dreams, imagination and fears parallel my own that I'm immediately drawn to it like magnet.

South Korean artist, JeeYoung Lee's recent collection of dreamlike and transcendental images is a perfect example of this and I'm awed at her ability to create such breathtaking scenes that are dark and beautiful at the same time.

She used her own dream scenes and traditional Korean folktales as inspiration for these images. 

The objects, props and backdrops used in each scene were created by hand and no digital manipulation was utilized. More strikingly, she used her tiny studio in Seoul (11.8'X13.5'X7.8') as blank canvas to depict her boundless imagination.  

Lee opens her first European exhibition at Opiom Gallery in Opio, France, aptly titled Stage of Mind starting February 7, 2014. 

You can view more of her work here.