Frozen

Source: Flickr crashtrope

Sometimes I wonder, just how it all started, how it came to be what it is, and why we couldn't walk away sooner. Was it your calming voice that is neither deep nor high, your smile that is neither bright nor shy-- or was it your quiet demeanor that is neither caring nor careless.

Perhaps it was this ambivalence that made me falter and lose my pride. Perhaps it was the indifference you always treated me with, the indifference that no one in the world showed, but you.

I was tired. Tired of the caring, tired of the protecting, the maintaining, the questioning, and the answering. Sometimes all I wanted was silence and apathy. I'd tell myself I want to connect when in reality, I feel most comfortable floating aimlessly like a ghost. Sometimes I want to step away from everyone and everything and just be, in silence.

My life is anything but indifferent, anything but silent, and this is perhaps why I couldn't walk away sooner. Now that I'm walking away from your world of cold and damp non-emotions, I feel vibrant and warm. My heart begins to flutter and I'm beginning to remember what it feels like to live an ordinary life.

Good-bye my silent love, good-bye. Thank you for the years of indifference, for giving my frozen heart a companion.

Now I leave my cold heart at your doorstep, for there is no room for her in my warm home.

Eternal night has passed; sun arises at the break of dawn.

Good-bye.